Bible Camp Blues

I miss Eagle Lake so much that it is causing me physical pain.

My heart feels as though it's been torn into two rough-egded pieces; one of them remaining in Vermilion Bay, and the other still residing inside my chest. The people that I know from (and originally met at) Eagle Lake Bible Camp are so dear to me that it causes me to severely withdraw from everyone around me when I leave. I know that this is just a phase that will pass over time (and with a lot of prayer) but, God help me, I'm doing everything I can at this very moment to not jump into my vehicle and speed away to Vermilion Bay for good. I feel a strong connection to the land and the lake and, of course, the people that live there. I feel as though God has something (or someone) special for me in Vermilion Bay that he just can't wait to show me and give to me when the time is right.

But to be honest, on Sunday when I left the camp for the last time this summer, I felt a sense of closure. I felt as though God said to me, "Well done, good and faithful servant...until next summer."

He wants me to wait. It will be hard, but I know in the end, it will all be worth it!

So, Eagle Lake, until we meet again, may God hold me in the palm of his hand.
Amen!

They Say Everything Happens For A Reason...

Why?
Sometimes, you just have to ask, why?

Just when I've become next-to-best friends with a few certain people, they leave on a missions trip...

FOR TWO YEARS.


Do you have any idea how long I have to wait in order to see these people again? Over 700 days.

Do you know how uncool that is? Very uncool. So uncool that I feel like crying myself to sleep for the next 700 nights.

I feel like my heart is being ripped out of my chest. Skype just isn't the same as talking to someone in person.


How will I survive the next two years? Only with the help of God.

Bible Camp!

I am SO EXCITED!

Camp starts tomorrow. MY camp. My wonderful, beautiful, nostalgic, awesome, memory-filled, Bible camp.

Going back there is like going home.

Home. <3

Temporary Highs

I must admit something... I am a prodigal son. And I seem to abuse my privileges over and over and over again.

I listened to a song today that I remembered from a looong while back. It's called (There's Gotta Be) More To Life by Stacie Orrico, and the lyrics go something like this:

There's gotta be more to life
Than chasing down every temporary high
To satisfy me,
'Cause the more that I
Am trippin' out thinking there must be more to life
Well, there's life, but I'm sure
There's gotta be more...

And as I'm sitting here writing this, I KNOW that I've been chasing down temporary highs lately. They are not necessarily destructive, but anything that takes my main focus off of my relationship with Jesus Christ has the ability to block my blessings and tear my happiness apart. I don't want my joy to come from anything or anyone but God Himself.

I've been allowing myself to feed off of worldly hopes and dreams, and have been experiencing momentary bursts of gladness... But the tears come soon afterward and the joy I had previously felt is completely expelled.

I am SO well aware that true joy comes from God alone and that nothing else can fill me up like He can, so why am I doing this to myself?

I want to know peace, I want to please God, and I want to be a faithful servant of His.
Please pray that I chase after Him with all that is in me, and cast away any idols that may be blocking my path.

<3

My Mother

I have been blessed beyond belief with the most amazing mother.

She is kind and loving

She will sacrifice much so that her family can have much

She is constantly putting everyone else before herself

She gives with a cheerful heart

She very rarely says 'no' to anyone in need

She will most often be the first to apologize in any situation, even if she is clearly not at fault

She will always greet people with a smile and does everything in her power to make people feel welcome and comfortable

She is a better cook than YOUR MOM

She has strong Biblical values and always gives me the advice that I need exactly when I need it most

She is as stubborn as an ass

She is a beautiful woman

She is my mother

I can only hope that one day I will be able measure up to at least a fraction of what she is today.

I love my mom, and I cannot thank God enough for allowing me the privilege of being her daughter.

Happy Mothers Day!

History

There's a habit that I've gotten into since I first received my MacBook Pro.

After I switch from one web page to the next, I clear the history. 

Yes, after every single web page switch.

For example, if I'm on Facebook, and I want to go to Youtube, I click on 'Youtube' in my Bookmarks bar and then immediately go to the History tab and click 'Clear History...' so that there is no history left from the previous web page. And I do all of that without even thinking about it!

But, there is a very good reason that I clear the history after every page. 

The internet server that I work off of in my house generally has a relatively bad connection, and it causes web pages to load very slowly. And so, when I was first testing out ways to make web pages load more quickly, one of the things I tried was clearing the history. After I had done so, the web page that I had been trying to connect to loaded almost instantly! It was rather miraculous in my opinion.

So, since then I have become accustomed to habitually clearing my history, since it helps my internet to function properly.

When we sin, we are cut off from God; we are hindering our relationship with Him. We can't move forward in our faith if we have sins blocking our blessings.

We become like my internet when I don't clear the history: disconnected. 

God wants to free us from our sin (clear our history for us), so that our relationship with Him (our web pages) can be whole and intact (can operate properly and be fully functional).

So, go now and ask God to release you from the bind of sin so that you can be bound to Him through Jesus Christ who's wounds have paid our ransom!

AMEN.

Unattainable

It is March 1st today.

Including today, it is 20 days until I turn 20 on the 20th of March. But, I'm not entering my 20th year of being alive. 

Think back to the day you were born...okay, I realize you can't remember that, but at least think back to when you were told that you had finally entered this world.

You were 0 for a whole year before you turned 1, am I right? But when you were 0, that whole year was your 1st year of being alive. So when you turned 1, you were entering your second year of life.

This reminds me of how we are when we pursue God. We will NEVER be able to grasp the vastness of His wisdom or the greatness of His power! (Not until we enter heaven, of course.) Just as we are NEVER going to be the age of the year that we are entering!

Why pursue God if you are guaranteed never to figure Him out completely?

I ask you, why ELSE would you want to pursue Him?

The things of this Earth all have an ending, a finishing point, an achievable completeness, while God's greatness, His power, and His love are never-ending and wholly incomprehensible! 

And this is why I serve my wonderful Jesus.